I took Sami to see his pediatrician today and the lactation consultant on Monday. Both are very pleased with his weight gain and have proclaimed he’s doing “great.” Not just good — “great.” I’m trying to take that in. It might be making a dent in the Great Wall of Anxiety and Inadequacy that I’ve built up around the whole nursing thing.

I find it ironic that in general, I reject the medical establishment and the opinion of “experts,” but when it comes to my son, I am relying on the experts to let me know I’m being a good parent, nourishing my son properly, etc. That’s something to look at in myself. Why can’t I fully trust in myself as a parent? I guess I need to cut myself a break — it’s scary to be 100% responsible for the life of a tiny, helpless little human being!

Sami weighs 8 lbs 10 oz as of yesterday and has grown 3 inches. The child is not starving or failing to thrive. And that is only with a little bit of supplementing with my own milk — maybe 5 ounces at most on a good day. So the vast majority of his calories are coming straight from the source. His pediatrician thinks that this just may be his body type — long and lean, like a little string bean.

I was complaining yesterday to my friend Harriet how incredibly time-consuming it is to bf Sami, as he nurses so often and for so long… this was her response:

“I’m afraid I agree that it is an on call all day every day job and to be honest I dont think I ever left the house when rachael was born for about two or three weeks. This is normal. It is shocking to learn that you are a cow, chained to a sucking machine but that is what a mother is, in the first few weeks of a baby’s life. It can be very anti climactic and unstimulating.”

Thank you, Harriet. I can always trust you to tell it like it is.

Reality check: Sami won’t be a little tiny babe like this for very long. Soon he’ll be grabbing my boob and waving it around in public. OK, so the nursing is time- consuming, so it’s practically all I do all day — well, it’s my full-time job right now to feed my son. I just need to relax and enjoy these precious moments with him snuggled so close…and to trust that I’m making enough milk for my baby!

So I’m embracing the Inner Jewish Mother in me, but not letting her run the show…