My son Sami is four weeks and one day old today, and he has totally taken over my life– as it should be. Right now I can’t imagine working on my book or doing any kind of substantive writing, but I told myself I would write in my journal every day since his birth. Well…that hasn’t happened, unfortunately.

Sami nurses a LOT (I’m talking hours at a time. We’re having major breastfeeding issues–more about that later) and I physically have a hard time holding the journal to write in it while he nurses. Write when he’s sleeping, you say. But when he’s sleeping, I’m sleeping (or pumping — more about that later too) so there goes that idea. It’s much easier to type on my laptop with one finger while I’m nursing, hence the name of this blog.

So I’m hoping that by making it easier on myself, I’ll write more, every day, even if it’s just short snippets… These days are so precious and I don’t want any more of them to slip away unrecorded.

I want to write about this beautiful/crazy/intense/exhausting/pushing every one of my inadequacy buttons mother trip. I want to write about how Sami has expanded my heart’s capacity wider than I could ever have imagined. I want to write about his developmental milestones and all the little things he does that make me and his dad smile or want to tear our hair out. I want to write about how motherhood has expanded my identity — not erased it. I want to write about the challenges of balancing writing and motherhood, motherhood and mindfulness/meditation. I want to write about what it means to be a motherless mother.

I want to document this new, all-encompassing phase of my life with all the authenticity and compassion I can muster.