Last night I went to Cheryl Strayed’s reading at AU. I read some of her nonfiction work in a workshop I took last year, and was deeply moved by “The Love of My Life,” a memoir piece she wrote that got published in The Sun, about the loss of her mother at the age of 22. Having lost my mother at the age of 20, I could really relate…

It was weird getting out at night–my first evening event since Sami’s birth–and seeing everyone from my MFA program. Everyone kept asking me about the baby, which was wonderful and made perfect sense since I hadn’t seen anyone since the baby’s birth, but still…I was so glad when EJ (one of my professors) asked me about how my writing is going, had I sent out “Mary and Me?” Am I coming back in the fall? It meant a lot. Last night reminded me that I still do have an identity beyond motherhood.

EJ invited me to dinner with Cheryl before the reading, but I had to decline because it would have been too hard to be away from Sami for dinner and the reading. I try not to see it as a missed opportunity, but damn it, I do. That is the honest truth. I would have loved to have dinner with Cheryl, but it wasn’t meant to be. I did get a chance to speak with her afterwards, got a book signed, and told her how much her work means to me. Turns out she is on a book tour with a 4 month old and a 22 month old — whoa! What an inspiration. Her novel Torch has been ten years in the making. I’m just starting it now and it’s a compelling read so far.

I have decided that if I can’t sell my memoir as nonfiction, I am going to make it into a novel. I asked her during the Q & A why she chose to write Torch as a novel and not a memoir. She said something to the effect that she can’t sustain the truth for that long. And that fiction gives her the freedom to see things from all the characters’ points of view, while in memoir you can’t speculate as much on the motivations of others. I was really intrigued by what she said.

This novel idea has been brewing in me for some time now. Anyway, I have to talk to my agent this week about the objections that one editor had to my book — it’s already been done by Breggin, I don’t have enough of a platform etc. Discouraging news, since she used this editor’s response as a way to gauge other editors’ potential responses. It’s a good thing I didn’t get too excited. This business is hard. You have to be determined. Luckily I’m somewhat of a pit bull and don’t give up easily.