Comments on: Special Time

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 20 May 2008 16:42:00 +0000

This is the most beautiful ode to motherhood, and the most descriptive, inspirational tale of being consciously present with one’s child I have read in a long time. Wow. Gorgeous.

Love,
A new fan

By: bella

bella — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:23:00 +0000

I feel like I learn this again and again, at each new age/stage Leo goes through. And yet it is always the same lesson.
He needs me, for a period of time, all the way, and then he is fine. It needs to be regular, consistent and dependable, that it happens nearly every day.
And the older get gets the more it needs to be on his terms, what he wants to do/play, ect. . .
And I’m with Karen, I set the timer.

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 16 May 2008 20:05:00 +0000

Beautiful. One example I often cite in my workshops is the advice I once heard that our children need 1 hour of undivided attention from us each day. (Only one hour! The trouble is, we spend 16 hours avoiding it.) The way that I put this into practice was when Georgia was so eager for me to play dolls with her. She would try to coax and convince me; try to bribe me; sell me on the fun! of it. As I remember it was so sad the way she had to lure me. I began to use the kitchen timer to make this feasible for me. After all, my resistance was not because I didn't want to be with her, but because I feared there was no getting out. So we set the timer for one hour, and that put the conflict to rest. We played for one hour wherever and whatever she wanted (another egoistic trump we try to pull is making the activity be on our terms). I could relax because the timer ruled; she could relax because I was relaxed; all the emotional tension was transferred to the timer.

She never needed more than one hour. When I even tried to extend the time, she lost interest.

Children need us far less than we think they do, but for that time at least they need us all the way.

Long enough comment for you? Sorry.