one single mother. one spririted preschooler. oy — what a life.
Otherwise known as — adventures in online dating!
I had been corresponding with someone quite promising. He sent me a picture of him, I sent him a picture of me…and then…
He drops the “M” word.
In fact, he called me a “nice jewish milf” and said, “(oops - did I just say that?)” as if it was cute. My first, and probably healthiest, reaction was to feel degraded and slightly disgusted. Then I saw myself starting to make excuses for him:
Well, he seems so great in other ways. He lives in the neighborhood. He is a single dad of an eight and a half year old girl; he wrote me this beautiful introductory letter; after the milf comment he goes on to talk about how he is caring for his ailing mother. How bad could he be? Don’t be so uptight. Give him a chance.
But then I think: Wait. He called me a frickin’ MILF!
I deserve better than that: a man who thinks of me as a sex object before even meeting me - and then has the inability to keep that sentiment to himself. I deserve better.
It is pretty funny, though. But not funny enough for me to go out with him.
Can you say NEXT?
Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.
bridge
October 24th, 2008 at 4:44 am
at least it wasn’t a gilf
dadshouse
October 24th, 2008 at 4:55 am
I agree, I think the MILF term is objectifiying and high-schoolish. I mean, would you walk up to someone and just flat out say “I wanna sleep with you”? Maybe if you’re drunk in a bar.
Now then, what if he’d called you a hottie? Does that cross the line? I’ve been on first dates with hotties, but didn’t call them that. I’d save that term to tell my buddies later. I’d rather revel in a woman’s hotness while I got to know her - is she smart, compassionate, sexy, self aware, secure, vibrant? etc.
cat
October 24th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
yeah, i think hearing “you have the most beautiful [fill in the blank]” feels nice; hearing that you’ve just been dumped into a category, not so nice.
I’ve been viewed 973 times. - This Mama’s Dharma
October 31st, 2008 at 3:59 am
[...] he, unfortunately, like the milf-guy, became a NEXT. Call me shallow, but no matter how brilliant and interesting you are, if you [...]