SMS - Thanks! It’s thanks to other who allow themselves to be vulnerable and honest that I feel able to do it too.

Dad’s - that is too funny. In our modern age I guess PDA’s could be carried out on PDA’s, couldn’t they. Yeah I hear you that we don’t get over the ex’s as fast as we’d like. After 10 years together it would be sort of impossible to get over him in a year, I suppose.

T - thank you sooooo much for this beautiful and thoughtful response. I think everything you’ve said is so right on. Many times over the last year I have told myself that I should take a hiatus from dating. But I’ve never consciously let go of the search. It might be a good New Year’s practice to try for a while, but I don’t think I’m evolved enough to try it. It would be so good for me though, like a spiritual juice fast or something

He’s from Quebec and we’ve always worried he may just pick up and take him with him… irrational maybe, but I guess what I’m saying is - I understand.

You trusted your gut which was screaming at you loud and clear. If he’s never been alone with him before that would be weird for him to suddenly have a private visit.

Good for you for sitting with it — and breathing. I know that adrenaline well. Bravo for facing it. You’re doing some good work here, mama.

Mid-PDA: being in Silicon Valley, I know of PDA as Personal Digital Assistant. So “Mid-PDA” to me meant they were furiously texting each other.

Your instinct is warning you for a reason. You have NO sense of trusting security with this man. He should come clean with at least an address or some explanation. It doesn’t sound like he is doing anything to win your trust. Just because he is the father, doesn’t mean that you automatically trust him.

Yes, perhaps your imagination is conjuring up more than what’s really there and that’s only because you’re filling in the HUGE gaps of what you don’t know about him. He should understand your fear. If only you could get past them, both of you, and have a rational conversation about why the trust has to be earned back.

And its still not been very long that you’ve not been with him. You never had any closure with him… with him just disappearing out of your lives. The attraction is still there because you’ve created a fantasy of him in your head. He’s been non-existent so you’ve not been given the chance to physically see him differently.

Many single parents will say, “Don’t date anyone seriously within the first year after your divorce.”

Its because we’re still getting over our ex and all of those feelings. We’ll project those feelings on to someone else and it, in most cases, explodes in our face. Perhaps that is what you’re doing with this new online guy. Your awareness of it is good. Also be aware that he is NOT the same PERSON as your EX.

I know its hard. Believe me!! And many times, I too will admit not liking being single. Sometimes, I downright resent it!

Acceptance is what we’re all aiming for. That is when our powerful nature is present. I’m still working on it myself.

Hugs girl. As everyone tells me, this too shall pass.