Comments on: Piecing myself back together.

By: G

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:27:02 +0000

One of my first loves gave me a book as we broke up (one of the nicest break ups ever) and this was inscribed inside:

Somewhere someone is traveling furiously toward you,
At incredible speed, traveling day and night,
Through blizzards and desert heat, across torrents, through narrow passes
But will he know where to find you,
recognize you when he sees you,
Give you the thing he has for you?

‘At North Farm,’ John Ashberry

You have to kiss a number of frogs before you find your fairytale - that is the golden rule! But each frog tells you something about what you don’t want, and helps you to define what you want to move toward.

Before I met my husband, I had kissed my fair share - I don’t know how I survived long enough in the dating pool to actually meet him! I had allowed one obsession to break my heart four or five times for good measure - going back over and over again as if once wasn’t enough. I nearly didn’t survive that experience, but somehow good friends and hard work kept me breathing until I could move through it.

But what healed me was having something to move toward. I made a list of all the qualities I wanted in a partner and I allowed myself to admit that I really did want to get married. The dating game suddenly got a little bit easier - I didn’t waste my time (or theirs). I was looking for someone specific and I would recognize him when I met him.

I’m not sure it heals a broken heart, there is always the scar tissue to deal with. But moving toward something positive helped me to focus my mind on something other than the pain. The next time my heart is broken, I know I will pull that book off the shelf and read those lines again.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:38:03 +0000

I am still trying to figure out the answer to your question of what helps a broken heart. I have been searching for the answers for over four years now…since brain cancer choked the life out of my eleven yr old daughter.

My heart is shattered.

This I can tell you…there really is only one requirement. Keep breathing. Everything else is optional.

By: Hanna

Hanna — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:58:02 +0000

Music, blogging, taking a 2-year-old to the pool, building a snowman, putting up a Christmas tree, movies, books, friends….I’m still looking to add to the list, but these things have helped me deal.

You got us too!

By: cat

cat — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:03:23 +0000

i dunno if i’ve suggested this before, but the book “prince charming isn’t coming” is pretty darned good if you’re looking for a paradigm shift. it’s about money, managing your own.

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 17:42:00 +0000

I love your idea of doing something each day to nourish the spirit. I try to wake up each morning and feel happy and grateful for whatever good is in my life.

Your puzzle metaphor is a good one. Are we meant to see the whole puzzle? Or is it enough to see just the parts we are working on? Sort of like a trip in a car at night - you only see what’s in your headlights in front of you, but you still get where you meant to go.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:22:25 +0000

are you familiar with Carolyn Myss? (myss.com)
with archetypal patterns?
you so well described the DAMSEL archetype!…dying to be rescued.

By: T

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 03:46:37 +0000

The puzzle is such a great metaphor.

I too felt like Soldier and I used each other as an escape. It sure did feel good at the time. But WOW, it does feel really great to have ME back again.

Just trying to stay present was the most difficult part of these past few months. If I could truly do that, then I felt contentment again.

Yes, love YOU the way you wish to be loved!! That is healing in itself!!!