Wanting a relationship is nothing to be ashamed about, you know. It’s something millions of books are based on, so it’s clearly a popular topic. I think the thing is, finding the comfort of being alone that’s a kick in the ass sometimes. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to do, but once you get there?

It’s an incredibly peaceful place to be as well.

I don’t like admitting it, but I have a need to be in relationship with a man. I like it. I want sex. I want companionship. I want help doing the dishes, and I want to give and receive love. Period.

I have spent some time beating myself up for this, telling myself I am a “bad buddhist” even (ha!) for wanting this connection. Now though, I have come to an acceptance. It is not the acceptance of “I am single and that is fine” it is the acceptance of “I am a person who appreciates being in intimate emotional/sexual relationships and it is something I seek to cultivate, develop, maintain in my life.”

I just accept THAT now, and I don’t hate myself for it. In fact, I am starting to appreciate myself for it because it makes me go out there, meet people, be brave, explore, and it is part of what makes me ME.

xoxo. I love your writing always, and am so glad I found your blog. You’re my sister on the path in so many ways…

At 33, it is imperative that I learn how to hold myself. Sometimes I feel like a baby who has lost her binky and now must learn how to self-soothe. Time to catch up to adulthood.

I do tend to idealize marriage now that I am single, but I remember having a lot of lonely moments in the marriage. We had a lot of good sex in our marriage (except when I was nursing) but that was one of the few things we had going for us. Sexual chemistry is great but in and of itself, contrary to popular belief, is not enough to sustain a marriage.

Thank you all for helping me to see the spiritual gifts inherent in this situation. I am really working on developing the willingness to accept my single status. It’s a process but I’ll just take each day as it comes.

Bravo. I think you’re doing great. Maybe this stage in your life is meant to foster consciousness and awareness toward things you already know and are practicing.

I can absolutely promise you that, if you are going to be lonely, it is way better to be by yourself. Marriage does not “guarantee”. Lots of us can attest to that truth.

Guys that poof . . .it’s about them not you.

Good new picture of you.

I was wondering, “Did he ask Dharma Mama out on a second date?”…

And here we are.

I haven’t been in a relationship for 9 months now — and even that one was short-lived.

But at last, after years of being a single mom, I do feel good about being single. Believe me, there are lonely moments and hours. But I have practiced EXACTLY as you put it:

“To learn how to sit with the discomfort of being alone.”

I have cried many tears sitting with that discomfort. And it’s not always easy. I never really learned how to hold myself. I’m practicing.

As I get back out there, I also wonder if I’m truly ready… I’m simply honored to know you on the path!

And not like that, as Karen said.