one single mother. one spririted preschooler. oy — what a life.
Now that spring is slowly, hesitatingly emerging here in Washington, DC, I have a new habit. Each morning to and from work, I get off the bus and I walk. All in all, I’m probably walking 25 minutes each way, but it is wonderful because I’ve been pretty sedentary all winter.
In general I am full of an intense energy. I tend to lose myself in computer screens, in fantasies, in a world that is occupied in my mind. My body is in deep need of grounding. One of the things I greatly desire is to run - I love the idea of my feet pounding the pavement, hair flying, muscles straining (not to mention that killer bod that serious runners have). But with bad knees and a back surgery to my credit, running intuitively doesn’t seem like the right thing to be doing.
So I walk up and down 14th Street - Petworth to Columbia Heights to downtown and back.
I like how when I walk, I run into people. The other day, I ran into T in her car - a friend I had not seen for months. She gave me a ride to the office and while I missed the rest of my walk, catching up was grand. Today, I ran into another friend, K. K had recently lost her mom and was leaving her whole life behind here to embark on a glorious adventure into an unknown future. It was tremendously exciting and inspiring to hear her story while standing on the corner of 14th and Park.
While I walk I listen to music - I’ve been listening to a lot of hip hop lately, Flobots and other underground sounds, then listening to my own rough tracks and wonder how I can hone my words. I dream of the day when my CD will be out, and plot the steps I must take to achieve that. I think about setting my songs to images and making videos. Who knows where the time for all these activities will come, but I am not worried about it.
I have all these dreams flowering. I found out that the website that has been selling my chapbook ran out, and I’m almost out of my own copies, and I’m ready to go into a second edition.
For so long I was shut down by the publishing world, shut down by rejection, and now I don’t f-ing care. I’m taking a DIY approach to life. I don’t need to be validated by an agent or editor or MFA program or any outside entity. In the world of Web 2.0 and digital media, anything is possible if I have a vision and some basic skills.
When I walk, I dream as I move. I dream of starting my own nonprofit - the outlines of it are murky, but I am reaching for a vision to coalesce. Huge amounts of excitement and energy swirl around these ideas as well. I’m heading to San Francisco for the Nonprofit Technology Network conference next month, and have a feeling I’ll be very inspired.
I dream of being out of the grind, releasing myself from the insanity of a whoppingly big mortgage payment (thank you, divorce!!), releasing my son from the grind of school and constantly structured activities.
I dream of walking away from my house, giving it to the bank, heading into a simpler life where I can actually have a damn work-life balance, and not be working a job to pay for a house that I don’t spend a whole lot of time in other than while I’m asleep and a bit on Sundays. I want to see my child more - now that his dad takes him one day a week, I feel like I’ve never spent less time with him in our lives. These days are precious and often at the end of one, I have no idea where it has gone whatsoever. The moments have all blurred into one another and life can feel like it’s perpetually on fast forward.
How to craft a mindful life, an intentional life, a life in line with my deepest values? How did I fall into this capitalist, consumerist morass? I must be here for a reason, trusting that.
My friend Y lives in an intentional community for activists, with very below-market rents, and I am going to ask to get on the waiting list. That way if I let the bank take this house, then at least I have somewhere to go that is affordable.
Walking these days is my moving meditation - it’s my time, 30 minutes each morning and evening, just for me, to dream and appreciate my life as it is–but to also think about how I can take action to be more in alignment with the things I hold most dear.
I am so glad I got this idea to get off the bus and hit the street. Huge insights have opened up for me with movement. I haven’t been this big and grandiose in years.
Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.
Dr. Leah www.singlemommyhood.com
March 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
All very inspiring - thank you!
Keep up those DIY - big thoughts.
We’re all anxious for spring and more walking and outside time - I know I am.
dadshouse
March 20th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Wow, I can feel your energy and presence. Very large! Creativity is great. Sounds like it’s bubbling over for you, with tons of enthusiasm. Eckhart Tolle said as you bring increasing levels of these three things to anything you do: acceptance, enjoyment, enthusiasm - you’ll be happier. That you are going at it with so much enthusiasm is great! Inpsiring! Go do it!
Let me know when you’re in SF - would love to meet.
Gianna
March 21st, 2009 at 1:38 pm
yay!! celebration…moving is so awesome…bodies are meant to labor. Period. And if we are sedentary as most of us are, we can’t be our full potential…at least in most cases.
Ashley
March 21st, 2009 at 3:53 pm
oooh, this is so exciting!
krista
March 21st, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I am so excited about everything you are talking about here. It all sounds wonderful and promising. The walking, the tuning in to yourself, the intentional community, the poetry, all of it.
It’s cool to be alongside you, watching you grow!
badmuthablogger
March 22nd, 2009 at 4:57 am
I share your vision. I too desperately seek to get back to a simpler, richer way of life. One which doesn’t race by in a flash. One where I have time to create, play, laugh and enjoy with my baby. I love to walk outside as much as possible. It grounds me and keeps me sane. That and hip hop. You are a great writer, I’ve only just come across your blog, and I have precious little time to read anything. But I like you, and I like your style, so I’m reading your blog when I can! If you come to San Fran to that conference, then I would love to meet up with you. Might be a pipe dream, but you never know.
admin
March 22nd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Thank you so much, Dr. Leah, Dad’s, Gianna, Ashley, Krista, BMB!
I hesitated about posting all my “grandiose” fantasies…so your support and encouragement means a lot.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day, and stop having a vision…I’ve been there. It’s a reminder to myself and others that it’s essential to keep on dreaming and plotting and scheming.
Badmuthablogger - the feeling is mutual. let’s talk. It would be a blast to meet you in SF - didn’t realize you were there!!
T
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 am
You do sound unbelievably alive and awesome! A moving meditation and connecting with the world around you. We could all use more of that!
Laurie B
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:57 pm
you inspire me Leah.