Comments on: Strange and Wonderful Days http://mamadharma.net/2010/01/strange-days/ one single mother. one spririted preschooler. oy -- what a life. Fri, 30 Jul 2010 01:25:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: krista http://mamadharma.net/2010/01/strange-days/#comment-1317 krista Sat, 09 Jan 2010 21:47:06 +0000 http://mamadharma.net/?p=724#comment-1317 I think it's awesome what you are doing too- I'm loving myself passionately too this year- and definitely cutting back on my man madness. You're inspiring me in your quest! I think it’s awesome what you are doing too- I’m loving myself passionately too this year- and definitely cutting back on my man madness. You’re inspiring me in your quest!

]]> By: admin http://mamadharma.net/2010/01/strange-days/#comment-1312 admin Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:59:58 +0000 http://mamadharma.net/?p=724#comment-1312 Thanks Thordora and C. I don't tend to do well with moderation, in any way. I am a very addictive type. I tried to date sanely, and failed. This year of celibacy and no dating is a gift to myself; not one I would have chosen without the pain of 2009 and 2008 kicking my butt. I certainly don't want to be alone always; I am taking a year as an experiment to really bond with me, my child, and strengthen my spiritual connection before I venture out into the dating wilds again. I agree that there is not a whole lot of virtue in not needing anyone. Some of us can go the other extreme and get "anorexic" if you know what I mean. Avoiding all relationships and intimacy to avoid getting hurt. We are human; hard-wired to connect. But the counterbalance is to feel so good in our skin that the other person is not needed to complete us, or make us feel whole and OK. We are already and truly whole and complete as we are. The partner is the icing on a truly already kick-ass cake :) Thanks Thordora and C.

I don’t tend to do well with moderation, in any way. I am a very addictive type. I tried to date sanely, and failed. This year of celibacy and no dating is a gift to myself; not one I would have chosen without the pain of 2009 and 2008 kicking my butt.

I certainly don’t want to be alone always; I am taking a year as an experiment to really bond with me, my child, and strengthen my spiritual connection before I venture out into the dating wilds again.

I agree that there is not a whole lot of virtue in not needing anyone. Some of us can go the other extreme and get “anorexic” if you know what I mean. Avoiding all relationships and intimacy to avoid getting hurt. We are human; hard-wired to connect. But the counterbalance is to feel so good in our skin that the other person is not needed to complete us, or make us feel whole and OK. We are already and truly whole and complete as we are. The partner is the icing on a truly already kick-ass cake :)

]]> By: C http://mamadharma.net/2010/01/strange-days/#comment-1309 C Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:50:41 +0000 http://mamadharma.net/?p=724#comment-1309 I think what you're doing is really awesome. I wish I had the nerve. Every time I'd suffer a big breakup, I'd tell myself that I was *finally* going to learn to just 'be' with myself, and to get over my frantic search for another person who would make me feel like my life meant something. Truthfully, I get a little superstitious about my current relationship, worrying that until I get over my need to be in a relationship, every relationship I have will fail, including this one. At least this time I'm still living in my own place. Having kids makes dating a while different thing. It keeps me from throwing all caution to the wind for some man... But I still wonder if learning to be *really* independent is something I will be forced to learn, now or later. But then again: what is the virtue in not needing anyone? I wonder if it's reasonable to expect that I should be "happy" being alone. Is that really possible for everyone? Just some thoughts... I think what you’re doing is really awesome. I wish I had the nerve. Every time I’d suffer a big breakup, I’d tell myself that I was *finally* going to learn to just ‘be’ with myself, and to get over my frantic search for another person who would make me feel like my life meant something. Truthfully, I get a little superstitious about my current relationship, worrying that until I get over my need to be in a relationship, every relationship I have will fail, including this one. At least this time I’m still living in my own place. Having kids makes dating a while different thing. It keeps me from throwing all caution to the wind for some man… But I still wonder if learning to be *really* independent is something I will be forced to learn, now or later. But then again: what is the virtue in not needing anyone? I wonder if it’s reasonable to expect that I should be “happy” being alone. Is that really possible for everyone? Just some thoughts…

]]> By: thordora http://mamadharma.net/2010/01/strange-days/#comment-1308 thordora Tue, 05 Jan 2010 11:59:44 +0000 http://mamadharma.net/?p=724#comment-1308 I'm so torn between the poles-of putting myself out there and withdrawing completely, to finally settle in my skin, to let the good things in life find me. It's so difficult to settle. Time I imagine. All in good time. I’m so torn between the poles-of putting myself out there and withdrawing completely, to finally settle in my skin, to let the good things in life find me. It’s so difficult to settle.

Time I imagine. All in good time.

]]>