This Mama’s Dharma

I’m tired so tired not a fan of this feeling that life is passing me by and my child grew an inch I swear while I was gone for four days in CA and sometimes I feel like when I am with him I am not really with him because my mind is always wandering [...]

I do not subscribe to the victim mentality.  I believe that we each bear complete and total responsibility for our own lives, and that we can create and change our reality with focused intention and effort.
That being said, I am basically traumatized by the last year of dating. I can’t think of any other way [...]

I am aware that over the last few months my post count on this blog has dipped dramatically.  So much of what I wrote about included the ins and outs of my dating life.  The constant search for love, for a man, for “the one.”  The good, the bad, and the ugly results of that [...]

I’ve had a few empowering experiences in the past few days that cause me to have renewed trust in the unfolding of life.  They are both little things, but it is often the little things in life that are the most awe-inspiring to me. 
The first one happened last night: Sami’s dad came with me to the school to [...]

Reading Single Mom Seeking’s recent post about how confusing dating can be, all I can say is that I truly relate.  
I always feel like I am doing it wrong, like I scare guys away with my intensity, with some needy vibe that I don’t even realize that I am giving off.  I’ve concluded that [...]

First of all, I must announce that I am offically full of shit. 
Despite recent meanderings  that hinted to the contrary, I am not going to stop trying to meet someone (never mind if wisdom indicates that it would probably be a good thing for me to intentionally be on my own for a while).  In fact, [...]

It has been so long since I have gotten some good lovin’.
Seriously, I am not cut out for celibacy.
A question posed by PTLawmom in a recent post got me realizing that this past three months is the longest in my post-virginal life that I have gone without sex.  I haven’t even kissed anyone, I’ve been that [...]

Literally, I am sick and tired…my throat burns, my eyes sting.  I should be in bed, watching the DVD of the Yacoubian Building that I ordered from Netflix.  But I’m here instead, reflecting on this odd, odd existence.
The world feels like it is crashing and burning all around and then I see that this state [...]

I am hungry.
I have never felt this empty, this hollowed out, this vulnerable — not that I can remember.  Perhaps I have always felt protected by the love of a man, or the interest of a man.  The attention in some way, shape, or form.  Even if everything else was going wrong in my life, [...]

I walked around all day today with a one-hundred pound sack of guilt and sadness slung over my shoulder. Sami went to daycare all day today, and then after just an hour and a half together, I left him with a sitter so I could go to my meditation class.
Guilt is a [...]