breaking up is hard to do Category

Someone to tell me what to do.
There is not much narrative
Left in me right now. 
I’m tired.
This morning I get an email from the ex
Agreeing that we have gone nowhere with our nasty emails.
Our fights have always been legendary.
I really want to have Sami in my life
As much as I want to be in his,
He wrote.
I spoke [...]

Last night, at visit #4, my ex dropped a very large bomb.
Before that, he dropped a smaller bomb. 
He asked me to take down a picture of Sami on his photo website where there is a Star of David painted on his cheek. 
I explained to him gently that Sami himself asked for that Star of David on [...]

First of all, I must announce that I am offically full of shit. 
Despite recent meanderings  that hinted to the contrary, I am not going to stop trying to meet someone (never mind if wisdom indicates that it would probably be a good thing for me to intentionally be on my own for a while).  In fact, [...]

He doesn’t remember him.  
When he walked in the door, there was no “Daddy!”  No running to him.  No recognition.  Just a shyness.
“Who’s this, Sami?” I asked.  ”Who’s this man?”
No answer.
Periodically throughout the night, my ex tried to get Sami to call him by his name.
“You used to call me ‘Daddy,’” I heard him say [...]

It would be so tempting to fall apart right now.
But I’m so over it.
Not that there is anything wrong with falling apart.  It’s a category on my blog.  I’ve consistently fallen apart very well, and I appreciate the process for what it is. Right now, though, I am more interested in piecing myself back together.
On the [...]

I am currently reading a book entitled Dark Night of the Soul by Thomas Moore, and I am very much appreciating the way he puts despair into a cultural and mythological context.  So unlike the bland psychological approaches that dominate our culture today.  Even I, as a professional critic of the mental health industry and [...]

On Friday I had an acupuncture treatment that had me weeping.  I was shocked by the force of my tears.  Here I was, seated, with needles down my spine, my head resting on the treatment table, and the tears hit me at 80 miles an hour.  They came out in a burst and cleared as quickly as they [...]

My Inner GPS

In: breaking up is hard to do, writing

Yesterday I rode in my ex’s car for the first time since we split. It was a five-minute drive both ways, but it felt like five years. The purpose of the trip was to go to the bank so that he could take his name off our joint checking account. Our uncoupling [...]

About this blog

Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.