But first: a ”Baby Daddy” Update. Exhaling deeply. There has been a break in the persistent awfulness of this past week.
I cringe when I read about the horror and devastation happening in Israel and Palestine.
Is it possible that there could be one less Jew and Arab fighting in the world?
Last night, I listened to somebody [...]
Someone to tell me what to do.
There is not much narrative
Left in me right now.
This morning I get an email from the ex
Agreeing that we have gone nowhere with our nasty emails.
Our fights have always been legendary.
I really want to have Sami in my life
As much as I want to be in his,
I spoke [...]
Last night, at visit #4, my ex dropped a very large bomb.
Before that, he dropped a smaller bomb.
He asked me to take down a picture of Sami on his photo website where there is a Star of David painted on his cheek.
I explained to him gently that Sami himself asked for that Star of David on [...]
First of all, I must announce that I am offically full of shit.
Despite recent meanderings that hinted to the contrary, I am not going to stop trying to meet someone (never mind if wisdom indicates that it would probably be a good thing for me to intentionally be on my own for a while). In fact, [...]
(This is a post that I wrote on and off through my stay in California, battling my grandmother’s virus-addled PC. Hope you don’t catch anything! - MamaDharma)
Tonight I read a stunning interview in The Sun Magazine (excerpted online but really worth reading in its entirety) with Kittissaro and Thanissara, a couple who lived as Buddhist monks [...]
Last night was filled with nightmares. In one, I was out to dinner with my ex and his new wife. Everything was going relatively well until I went to the bathroom and came back finding them in mid-PDA. I flipped out, and this involved me cursing, shaking my fist at her, and giving them the finger [...]
He doesn’t remember him.
When he walked in the door, there was no “Daddy!” No running to him. No recognition. Just a shyness.
“Who’s this, Sami?” I asked. ”Who’s this man?”
Periodically throughout the night, my ex tried to get Sami to call him by his name.
“You used to call me ‘Daddy,’” I heard him say [...]
I almost forgot to blog about my one year anniversary as a single parent, caught up as I was in the MoTH thing.
I can feel the visceral coolness of that early morning, sitting on the balcony in my ex’s apartment, our ninth wedding anniversary, November 25, 2007. We smoked a cigarette and he casually told [...]
Ah this, my favorite season. Season of hope and sadness. Always, season of beginning and ending. The Jewish New Year. The Days of Awe.
I think back to falls of the past few years. Fall of 2005. I was deep into my third trimester of pregnancy…excited and anxious and innocent as could be. Safe and secure in the [...]
I swear, I swear, I am going to get to bed by 11 pm tonight.
Today, I was an exhausted mess. The manic high from BlogHer sent me into a sleepless, hyperaroused state. I am an easily stimulated type and boy, was I buzzing.
I was so tired that my eyes burned all day long. This morning, [...]
Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.