This Mama’s Dharma

(This is a post that I wrote on and off through my stay in California, battling my grandmother’s virus-addled PC.  Hope you don’t catch anything!  - MamaDharma)
Tonight I read a stunning interview in The Sun Magazine (excerpted online but really worth reading in its entirety) with Kittissaro and Thanissara, a couple who lived as Buddhist monks [...]

I almost forgot to blog about my one year anniversary as a single parent, caught up as I was in the MoTH thing.
I can feel the visceral coolness of that early morning, sitting on the balcony in my ex’s apartment, our ninth wedding anniversary, November 25, 2007.  We smoked a cigarette and he casually told [...]

It would be so tempting to fall apart right now.
But I’m so over it.
Not that there is anything wrong with falling apart.  It’s a category on my blog.  I’ve consistently fallen apart very well, and I appreciate the process for what it is. Right now, though, I am more interested in piecing myself back together.
On the [...]

Oh, my.  On days like these I am reminded of how fragile I can be sometimes.
All it takes is “a thing” to get me spiraling.  And there’s almost always “a thing.”  Life is full of them.
Work was hard today.  I can’t really write about it because I feel weird writing about work stuff on this [...]

Oh, this morning was a bad morning.  A bad, bad morning.  And I was a bad mommy.  A bad, bad mommy.
As usual, I did not allot enough time to get us ready to get out of the house.  After rather frantically trying to bathe, dress, and feed myself, I woke Sami up and immediately started [...]

The full moon hangs larger than life in the sky and my heart is open.  
Oh it’s so odd how I swing from feeling so disconnected to feeling so connected, like tonight.
Ricky’s death reminded me that life is nothing but a glorious series of possibilities.  How blessed we are to breathe, how blessed our hearts [...]

Otherwise known as adventures in online dating…
Out of those 973 views on a particular online dating website that will not be named, I’ve had a few nibbles.  Last Saturday night there was a date with a very interesting person, a humanitarian, originally from Southeast Asia.  A shy, mad scientist-type who unfortunately did not have a clue about [...]

I’m thinking about this 180 degree shift from dis- to re- empowerment and how it feels like my life has just split wide open.  Much of the overlay of victimhood has dropped away and I am simply seeing things as they are, for the first time in a long while.  I’ve become so much aware [...]

Today I have experienced some powerful shifts that have reframed the way I look at my single parent life.  I have been holding on to a lot of beliefs that no longer serve, and now I see them for what they are: not truth, certainly not Truth, just stories that I like to tell myself [...]

I’m taking a deep breath through the falling apart that is currently going on. Old neural pathways are activated within me, old traumas awakened and it is fascinating and completely scary at the same time to see myself move in and out of awareness around it.
The Story of What is Going On [...]