It has been 365 days since I have been out on a date, or even remotely pursued anything with men. It was a conscious choice I made last year, after a long string of bad decisions, near fatal attractions, a glut of embarrassingly adolescent behavior, and much scraping my heart up off the floor. The Year [...]
I have this recurring dream. It’s variations on a theme - the theme of my ex and I getting back together.
In the dream, it’s just the two of us, and he is looking at me in that way, with great love in his eyes. We have sex.
“I missed you,” I say, crying.
“I missed you too,” [...]
For the past few weeks, I have been working on improving the co-parenting relationship with Sami’s dad, and I think my efforts might be bearing fruit. Sami is our joint venture, and we might as well approach his care and upbringing from a spirit of cooperation and relative friendliness. It’s been easier said than done. [...]
“When we embrace anger and take good care of our anger, we obtain relief. We can look deeply into
it and gain many insights. One of the first insights may be that the seed of anger in us has grown too
big, and is the main cause of our misery. As we begin to see this reality, we realize that [...]
I’m on a compassion jag and I can’t stop it.
I have been gathering up Sami’s baby gear to donate to a local thrift store, but then as I was looking at those two bags of stuff sitting there in the front hallway this evening, it hit me that I know someone who can really use [...]
First of all, I must announce that I am offically full of shit.
Despite recent meanderings that hinted to the contrary, I am not going to stop trying to meet someone (never mind if wisdom indicates that it would probably be a good thing for me to intentionally be on my own for a while). In fact, [...]
For some reason, his father and I started calling Sami “Sami su-su” when he was a baby and it has just stuck.
Tonight, my sweet boy woke up at midnight looking for me. I sat down beside his bed for a moment, looking into those huge old-man eyes of his. He stared at me [...]
Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.