going crazy Category

On August 2, I turned 34, and soon after, had a mini breakdown. It could have just been really bad PMS, but it felt like more than that.
I am perfecting the art of the mini-breakdown. It involves a few days of intense crying jags, not feeling real, barely being able to work, calling all my [...]

Father’s Day.
Why is it that when I think of my dad, all I can think of is his death? I remember entering his apartment, like a scene of a murder, but there was no murder - unless you count years of forced psychiatric drugging murder, which it is. I remember the smell of death all [...]

Someone to tell me what to do.
There is not much narrative
Left in me right now. 
I’m tired.
This morning I get an email from the ex
Agreeing that we have gone nowhere with our nasty emails.
Our fights have always been legendary.
I really want to have Sami in my life
As much as I want to be in his,
He wrote.
I spoke [...]

I almost forgot to blog about my one year anniversary as a single parent, caught up as I was in the MoTH thing.
I can feel the visceral coolness of that early morning, sitting on the balcony in my ex’s apartment, our ninth wedding anniversary, November 25, 2007.  We smoked a cigarette and he casually told [...]

I took a cool bath this evening and washed myself with Sami’s baby shampoo.  Have you ever taken a cool bath on a hot summer night?  It is a delicious experience, to rest in cool water as crickets chirp through the window.  Now I smell as fresh and clean as a newborn.
 
This day has been [...]

About this blog

Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.


Sponsors