But first: a ”Baby Daddy” Update. Exhaling deeply. There has been a break in the persistent awfulness of this past week.
I cringe when I read about the horror and devastation happening in Israel and Palestine.
Is it possible that there could be one less Jew and Arab fighting in the world?
Last night, I listened to somebody [...]
First of all, I must announce that I am offically full of shit.
Despite recent meanderings that hinted to the contrary, I am not going to stop trying to meet someone (never mind if wisdom indicates that it would probably be a good thing for me to intentionally be on my own for a while). In fact, [...]
Last night was filled with nightmares. In one, I was out to dinner with my ex and his new wife. Everything was going relatively well until I went to the bathroom and came back finding them in mid-PDA. I flipped out, and this involved me cursing, shaking my fist at her, and giving them the finger [...]
My son and his father are quietly playing downstairs as I write this. They are drawing pictures together at the dining room table and I am staying out of their way as they re-establish their bond. Earlier in the morning, they were playing upstairs, loudly and boisterously, and H was throwing Sami around and doing [...]
This afternoon, on my way home early from work, throat burning, fever racking my body with chills, I listened to the most delightful dharma talk by Roshi Bernie Glassman, founder of the Zen Peacemaker Order. I was struck so hard by something he said that my eyes welled up with appreciative tears:
“Take the ingredients you [...]
He doesn’t remember him.
When he walked in the door, there was no “Daddy!” No running to him. No recognition. Just a shyness.
“Who’s this, Sami?” I asked. ”Who’s this man?”
Periodically throughout the night, my ex tried to get Sami to call him by his name.
“You used to call me ‘Daddy,’” I heard him say [...]
It would be so tempting to fall apart right now.
But I’m so over it.
Not that there is anything wrong with falling apart. It’s a category on my blog. I’ve consistently fallen apart very well, and I appreciate the process for what it is. Right now, though, I am more interested in piecing myself back together.
On the [...]
Tonight I sit here with so much longing.
First, I long for my son to feel better. I write this blog post next to a little feverish boy who has just fallen asleep in my arms. His cries of discomfort cut through to my soul and I would do anything to soothe him right now.
I have [...]
Ah this, my favorite season. Season of hope and sadness. Always, season of beginning and ending. The Jewish New Year. The Days of Awe.
I think back to falls of the past few years. Fall of 2005. I was deep into my third trimester of pregnancy…excited and anxious and innocent as could be. Safe and secure in the [...]
I swear, I swear, I am going to get to bed by 11 pm tonight.
Today, I was an exhausted mess. The manic high from BlogHer sent me into a sleepless, hyperaroused state. I am an easily stimulated type and boy, was I buzzing.
I was so tired that my eyes burned all day long. This morning, [...]
Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.