This Mama’s Dharma

I don’t know if the title of this post has anything to do with anything, but it feels like a theme in my life right now, so I’ll go with it.
The universe makes me laugh.  As soon as I said I was surrendering the NEED to have a guy in my life, it started raining [...]

I’ve had a few empowering experiences in the past few days that cause me to have renewed trust in the unfolding of life.  They are both little things, but it is often the little things in life that are the most awe-inspiring to me. 
The first one happened last night: Sami’s dad came with me to the school to [...]

Certainly contrary to The Rules, or other such advice about not pursuing men, I sent MTM an email yesterday.  I decided to make one last attempt to clear up the question marks.
Hope you had a fun inauguration weekend.

Also wanted to ask: is everything ok?  I thought we had a really nice connection at brunch, [...]

Reading Single Mom Seeking’s recent post about how confusing dating can be, all I can say is that I truly relate.  
I always feel like I am doing it wrong, like I scare guys away with my intensity, with some needy vibe that I don’t even realize that I am giving off.  I’ve concluded that [...]

First of all, I must announce that I am offically full of shit. 
Despite recent meanderings  that hinted to the contrary, I am not going to stop trying to meet someone (never mind if wisdom indicates that it would probably be a good thing for me to intentionally be on my own for a while).  In fact, [...]

Last night was filled with nightmares.  In one, I was out to dinner with my ex and his new wife.  Everything was going relatively well until I went to the bathroom and came back finding them in mid-PDA.  I flipped out, and this involved me cursing, shaking my fist at her, and giving them the finger [...]

I am getting seriously spoiled. A friend of mine who is a stay-at-home-mom (and her family) are staying with me temporarily while they house-hunt. Her husband is busy working and is basically never around.
Tonight, as I am on my way home after a long day at work, wondering how in the world I will have the [...]

I am hungry.
I have never felt this empty, this hollowed out, this vulnerable — not that I can remember.  Perhaps I have always felt protected by the love of a man, or the interest of a man.  The attention in some way, shape, or form.  Even if everything else was going wrong in my life, [...]

I remember this feeling.
I like to refer to it as Grinding Loneliness.
And in my better days, I like to refer to it as Much - Needed Solitude.
Right now I am in a Grinding Loneliness verging on a Much-Needed Solitude kind of mood.
But I’m restless.  I considered signing up for JDate again.  Tell me: Noooooooooooooo, don’t [...]

Somehow I manage to fritter away these Saturdays without Sami. Now that I am staying home with him, I feel the loss of him in a different way. It’s not quite so wrenching, not as raw as it was a few months ago, but still I don’t know quite what to do with [...]