This Mama’s Dharma

On August 2, I turned 34, and soon after, had a mini breakdown. It could have just been really bad PMS, but it felt like more than that.
I am perfecting the art of the mini-breakdown. It involves a few days of intense crying jags, not feeling real, barely being able to work, calling all my [...]

I hate the word “depression,” as I detest all clinical phrases. They serve to dehumanize and they also don’t get at what is really going on with people. A neat label does not begin to encapsulate the complexity of human existence, and I feel does it a disservice. But looking at the word depression in [...]

I’m tired so tired not a fan of this feeling that life is passing me by and my child grew an inch I swear while I was gone for four days in CA and sometimes I feel like when I am with him I am not really with him because my mind is always wandering [...]

I do not subscribe to the victim mentality.  I believe that we each bear complete and total responsibility for our own lives, and that we can create and change our reality with focused intention and effort.
That being said, I am basically traumatized by the last year of dating. I can’t think of any other way [...]

I’ve had a few empowering experiences in the past few days that cause me to have renewed trust in the unfolding of life.  They are both little things, but it is often the little things in life that are the most awe-inspiring to me. 
The first one happened last night: Sami’s dad came with me to the school to [...]

Certainly contrary to The Rules, or other such advice about not pursuing men, I sent MTM an email yesterday.  I decided to make one last attempt to clear up the question marks.
Hope you had a fun inauguration weekend.

Also wanted to ask: is everything ok?  I thought we had a really nice connection at brunch, [...]

Reading Single Mom Seeking’s recent post about how confusing dating can be, all I can say is that I truly relate.  
I always feel like I am doing it wrong, like I scare guys away with my intensity, with some needy vibe that I don’t even realize that I am giving off.  I’ve concluded that [...]

Last night, at visit #4, my ex dropped a very large bomb.
Before that, he dropped a smaller bomb. 
He asked me to take down a picture of Sami on his photo website where there is a Star of David painted on his cheek. 
I explained to him gently that Sami himself asked for that Star of David on [...]

I almost forgot to blog about my one year anniversary as a single parent, caught up as I was in the MoTH thing.
I can feel the visceral coolness of that early morning, sitting on the balcony in my ex’s apartment, our ninth wedding anniversary, November 25, 2007.  We smoked a cigarette and he casually told [...]

Why is it that I keep attracting men who “poof?”
I can’t bring myself to go into the details of what happened this weekend.  It is still too painful, too raw, too embarrassing.  I don’t know if I can even go there at all on this blog. I plan to do some private writing to begin [...]