This Mama’s Dharma

This great post at Dad’s House got me thinking about my almost-3 year-old wrestler in training.  There are few things he loves as much as wrasslin’.  When his D-a-d was on the scene (I am so used to spelling it out in conversation that this is now how it formulates in my head) I didn’t [...]

Ah this, my favorite season.  Season of hope and sadness.  Always, season of beginning and ending.  The Jewish New Year.  The Days of Awe. 
I think back to falls of the past few years.  Fall of 2005.  I was deep into my third trimester of pregnancy…excited and anxious and innocent as could be.  Safe and secure in the [...]

There are a lot of things that my ex used to do that I never had to worry about.  Car stuff was one of them.  We had a very traditional relationship, and very untraditional too, in that he handled the guy stuff AND most of the girl stuff.  He basically took care of everything Grown-up [...]

I’m thinking about this 180 degree shift from dis- to re- empowerment and how it feels like my life has just split wide open.  Much of the overlay of victimhood has dropped away and I am simply seeing things as they are, for the first time in a long while.  I’ve become so much aware [...]

Today I have experienced some powerful shifts that have reframed the way I look at my single parent life.  I have been holding on to a lot of beliefs that no longer serve, and now I see them for what they are: not truth, certainly not Truth, just stories that I like to tell myself [...]

Today was like a sunny day after a storm.  How amazingly everything arises and passes away.  These days I feel on an emotional par with my preschooler.  I am either throwing a tantrum or giggling with delight.
Last night I reached a very tormented place.  Fears crowded around me and I could not get any distance [...]

It seems that things always have a way of turning around so rapidly in my life.  Everything always works out, but of course I forget this truth when I most need to remember it. 
I decided to give the school another chance last Friday and Sami had a great day!  I called about halfway through the [...]

I remember this feeling.
I like to refer to it as Grinding Loneliness.
And in my better days, I like to refer to it as Much - Needed Solitude.
Right now I am in a Grinding Loneliness verging on a Much-Needed Solitude kind of mood.
But I’m restless.  I considered signing up for JDate again.  Tell me: Noooooooooooooo, don’t [...]

It feels so good to have made a decision and to have it over with.  The part I hate is agonizing.  Writing the pro and con-list.  Imagining worst and best-case scenarios.  Feeling like there’s a “right” and a “wrong” decision and getting all nuts about that.
I faced a situation like this recently with the whole [...]

It was a stellar spring day in the Washington, DC area — mild, a slight breeze, no oppressive humidity levels. Today was Cinco de Mayo and I got the idea to take Sami to a street festival in downtown Silver Spring. I called another single mama friend and we made a plan to [...]