Staying present Category

It has been a very interesting few weeks.
Interesting is putting it mildly. It started when I got some completely unexpected and very upsetting health news - basically it was yet another cancer scare, and the good news is that it is benign and things are more or less back on track. But something has happened [...]

“When we embrace anger and take good care of our anger, we obtain relief. We can look deeply into
it and gain many insights. One of the first insights may be that the seed of anger in us has grown too
big, and is the main cause of our misery. As we begin to see this reality, we realize that [...]

On August 2, I turned 34, and soon after, had a mini breakdown. It could have just been really bad PMS, but it felt like more than that.
I am perfecting the art of the mini-breakdown. It involves a few days of intense crying jags, not feeling real, barely being able to work, calling all my [...]

Discipline is not my strong suit these days.
My sitting practice - more or less out the window.
Mindful eating/consumption? Not so much. My ass is slowly but surely expanding, a universe of its own, and I’ve moved to elastic waistbands for the time being.
Exercise? If you count carrying a kicking, screaming 42-pound preschooler out of Target, [...]

“Big boys don’t cry!” my child cried out randomly as I was drying him off after his bath tonight.
“Who told you that?” I asked, taken aback.  ”Who said that?”
“Ms. ___________” he answered.
“Well,” I said, helping him to pull his shirt over his head.  ”If she ever says that again, you tell Ms. __________ that your [...]

This is a very special time of year for me when New Age Mama comes out in full force.  It is the Aries New Moon - the astrological new year, so to speak.  A ritual that I began for the first time last year was to make what is called a “treasure map” - a [...]

 
Now that spring is slowly, hesitatingly emerging here in Washington, DC, I have a new habit.  Each morning to and from work, I get off the bus and I walk.  All in all, I’m probably walking 25 minutes each way, but it is wonderful because I’ve been pretty sedentary all winter.
 
In general I am full [...]

March is already here, arriving with a fierce blanket of snow.  
Life is speeding by so, we did not yet get a chance to play in it.  If it had been up to me, I would have taken a snow day, but work called, so off we went, two hours late.
I looked out the window [...]

Reading Single Mom Seeking’s recent post about how confusing dating can be, all I can say is that I truly relate.  
I always feel like I am doing it wrong, like I scare guys away with my intensity, with some needy vibe that I don’t even realize that I am giving off.  I’ve concluded that [...]

Someone to tell me what to do.
There is not much narrative
Left in me right now. 
I’m tired.
This morning I get an email from the ex
Agreeing that we have gone nowhere with our nasty emails.
Our fights have always been legendary.
I really want to have Sami in my life
As much as I want to be in his,
He wrote.
I spoke [...]

About this blog

Welcome to this blog - my chronicle of the illuminating, character-building path of single parenthood. I'm making this up as I go along. My life is my practice, and my five year-old son is my greatest teacher.


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