This Mama’s Dharma

My son and his father are quietly playing downstairs as I write this.  They are drawing pictures together at the dining room table and I am staying out of their way as they re-establish their bond.  Earlier in the morning, they were playing upstairs, loudly and boisterously, and H was throwing Sami around and doing [...]

December 10, 2008
How do I love thee, Sami G?
Let me count the ways.
Let me start this 3rd birthday tribute by declaring that you are the sweetest being I’ve ever known.  I still have many days when I look at you in wonder and amazement.  I can’t believe you’re my son.  How did I get the [...]

Why is it that I keep attracting men who “poof?”
I can’t bring myself to go into the details of what happened this weekend.  It is still too painful, too raw, too embarrassing.  I don’t know if I can even go there at all on this blog. I plan to do some private writing to begin [...]

Oh, my.  On days like these I am reminded of how fragile I can be sometimes.
All it takes is “a thing” to get me spiraling.  And there’s almost always “a thing.”  Life is full of them.
Work was hard today.  I can’t really write about it because I feel weird writing about work stuff on this [...]

“Mommy, I so love you!” declares Sami at least once a day.
Does he know what this means?  I don’t know, nor do I care, because it’s just wonderful to hear.  He says it joyfully, authentically. 
I’d like to think he’s picked it up from me.  I tell him I love him all the darn time.  I [...]

For the past few days I have been sitting with rejection.  I applied for a master nonfiction class at a local creative writing center, and got rejected.  By a former professor, no less!
To say that this initially caused me to feel like shit is an understatement.
But then I started to look at it another way: [...]

For some reason, his father and I started calling Sami “Sami su-su” when he was a baby and it has just stuck.
Tonight, my sweet boy woke up at midnight looking for me. I sat down beside his bed for a moment, looking into those huge old-man eyes of his. He stared at me [...]

On the table beside me are two men’s handkerchiefs, a small red Bic lighter, a dark red penknife, and a silver watch.
These are items that fell out of my father’s suitcase this evening, the one that I will be giving away as part of my fall cleansing process. The handkerchief still smells of [...]